


White Noise

by TwinSkeletonss



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ahhhh I wrote this all at once that makes me so nervous, Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, actual universe, angst but ends in fluff??, emotional distress, hux is irritated as usual, i never know how to tag these, im tired too, kylos eyes are prettier when they are closed, possible ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 04:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6039108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwinSkeletonss/pseuds/TwinSkeletonss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo is tired.<br/>Hux is tired of Kylo being tired.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White Noise

There’s a saying about sins.

 

The weight of your sins are supposed to hold you down and make you tired and weak. Kylo’s sins keep him awake, pacing, dark circles hidden under his mask along with the sad look in his eyes that he might never live long enough to see fade.

 

Kylo doesn’t sleep.

 

He likes the quiet of night while everyone sleeps and the loudest sound he can hear is that of his own boots hitting the ground as he wanders aimlessly, always coming back to his room to stare longingly at his bed, only to escape back into the halls and begin the whole process again.

 

The last time he tried to sleep was two nights ago. He laid in his bed with his shoes still on, knowing very well that he would have to leave the room and it’s haunting reminder of the fact he can never rest. He closed his eyes and the hands of sleep pulled him in slowly. A pair of hands, holding him, a soft light present. The same hand touching his face in a red light, the same hand reaching out for him as he fell and-

 

Kylo didn’t really get any sleep that night.

 

Hux gets lots of sleep. He goes to bed at night, not quite satisfied, but with the thought that he _might_ be in the morning. The sound of Kylo’s shoes past his door at night just becomes part of the routine. He doesn’t like to think that Kylo is in some emotional distress, he needs him to be sharp and aware. But he doesn’t like to not get any sleep more. Or, so he thinks.

 

Kylo can easily get into Hux’ head, much to Hux’ disatisfaction of course. He has a deliberate way of invading Hux’ mind space, he _always_ makes sure that Hux knows about it, and Hux is pretty sure the only reason he does it in the first place is to get a rise out of him. But at night when Kylo passes by the door of his quarters, it’s radio silence. Sometimes Hux will wait, almost expecting to hear something, maybe even _hoping_ to in order to make some sense of why his knight likes to walk past his door every night. But, it’s always nothing.

 

Until,

 

Until one night. Hux is still awake, eyelids heavy and hair tousled in a way he would never let anyone see, waiting for the sound of Kylo’s heavy boots to stomp past his quarters to let him know that _now_ it’s time to sleep, _now_ you know it’s become very late. But he never hears it, and so he stays awake, waiting. But time passes and the sound never comes, instead he hears a static.

 

Not the static he hears when he loses signal on his comlink, but the kind of static he would hear at the Academy during an exam, the static way back in your brain when you try to think too many things at once, and that gross nervous feeling fills in your stomach. Not radio silence. Something worse.

 

Hux tells himself that the reason he gets up and pulls a shirt over his head is because he wants the static to stop. He wants his head to quit feeling heavy, he wants to stop feeling worried about something that doesn’t concern him. He tells himself this as he goes out into the hall wearing sleeping attire that if anyone saw him in he would _surely_ make a run for it, but he knows the walk to Kylo’s quarters isn’t long and he doesn’t want to waste anymore time by getting dressed any further. He doesn’t fix his hair before he goes out, and he doesn’t even look into his own reflection at all before sliding out the door, yet he still lets himself believe that this is all out of laziness, not because he is trying to save time because something bad must be happening to the Knight down the hall. He still lets himself believe he doesn’t care.

 

He stands in front of Kylo’s door, the static louder and his ear ringing further and he winces, a derogatory thought about Ren and how inconsiderate he is for keeping Hux awake at this ungodly hour, whether it is intentional or not, plays into his head above the static. He knocks, knuckles banging against the cool surface of the door and, just like that, the static stops completely. Hux lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. His head isn’t as heavy, his ears aren’t ringing, and yet, he still doesn’t leave his spot from in front of the door.

 

“Are you going to open the door or are you going to leave me out here in the hallway to freeze?!” Kylo hisses at the still-closed door, wrapping his arms around himself to try and preserve warmth.

 

The door slides open and the generals breathing hitches. Ren stands behind the door, darkness from the hall hiding his features, but the light from inside providing his silhouette. Hux can see the outline of the dark curls he almost never gets to.

 

He lets himself in.

 

The first thing he notices is that the sheets of his bed are tousled. He was trying to sleep.

 

The second thing he notices is Ren hasn’t moved from behind the door. He’s wearing nothing but black sleep pants and socks. His dark hair was very unkempt and the circles under his eyes were almost as dark. Hux has to look up at him just a little, but in this light and this time of night he looks so small.

 

“When was the last time you slept?” Hux asked, eyeing Ren’s figure up and down, paying extra attention to his chest. Surely Ren didn’t notice.

 

“I was trying to before you decided to have this little get together in this ridiculous hour.” Ren’s voice was almost hoarse, like he had been yelling in the night. It was still deep and articulate. He was still trying to sound strong.

“I’m not as stupid as you presume me to be, _Ren.”_ The general almost spit his name out of his mouth. “Your torment played loud and clear all the way to my quarters.”

 

It took Kylo a minute to think of a response while trying to keep any emotion from his face.

 

“That wasn’t my intent.” he said softly, _finally_ sounding as tired as he really was. Finally sounding broken. Even Hux couldn’t help but feel a twinge of regret regarding his harsh choice of tone earlier. He sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Kylo still didn’t move. It took Hux motioning him to come sit on his own bed. He walked over hesitantly, nothing like the strut he usually performs when he knows he’s in charge. He sits at the very edge of the bed next to Hux, in a way that would make it very easy to get up quickly.

 

Hux could probably count the times he’s seen Ren without the helmet on, but he’s never been this close. Never close enough to count every freckle scattered across his face, never close enough to appreciate the deep color of his eyes, never even close enough to notice either of these things in general. Sometimes Hux thinks he wears the mask because he is ashamed, because he thinks that his soft features make him appear less intimidating. That his soft looking lips and even softer looking hair make him look too young for his taste. Hux would disagree with it all and argue that there isn’t a single fucking thing Ren should want to hide under the helmet, but he would never admit this, not even to himself unless on accident.

 

“I’m trying.” Ren said, the words forming on his tongue slowly, tone full of shame and eyes constantly looking down at the floor.

 

“Everyone on this whole ship knows that. You haven’t been pacing.” Ren brought his bottom lip in between his teeth. “What’s troubling you so damn much in the first place?” This might have been the wrong thing to say. Hux knows by the way Ren frantically rises to his feet and threads his fingers through his hair.

 

“Why should you care in the first place?! And don’t you dare try to give me some nonsense about how you need your commander to be in good shape or some rubbish like that.” Ren says in a rush, eyes always trained on Hux, but _never_  looking him in the eye. Hux frowns because that’s exactly what he was going to say.

 

“And what if that’s the reason?”

 

“And what if I know it’s not? What if you’re not as clever as you think you are, because you try your _best_ to make sure nothing is personal with you, but it always ends up the other way around, hm?”

 

“You can’t honestly look at yourself and imagine why i wouldn’t be worried.’’ Hux said calmly. You don’t raise your voice at Ren.

 

“I have!” the knight roared. “Too many times! What do you think i see when i close my eyes that is terrible enough to keep me awake?!” his voice resonated in the small quarters and Kylo gasped for breath, hair wild from being pushed around in his anxious state. Hux waited a hot minute for him to calm down before motioning him to join him again at his side.

 

He sat down slowly, teeth still working at his bottom lip. Hux let out a deep sigh and rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand.

 

“You’re sleeping tonight. I don’t care if it’s for five minutes or five hours. I will not live with this damn static in my head.” He turned his head to look at Ren, who was still looking at the ground.

“Lay down.”

 

Ren finally looked at him with his lips parted and his eyes so desperately tired, and Hux raised an eyebrow as if to say _you heard me, Now do it._ His eyes lingered on Hux for a moment longer before cautiously shifting back and laying head down on the pillow, his curls fanning out around his head. Hux followed suit and laid across from Ren so they were facing each other. He pulled the covers onto both of them and shifted to get comfortable, feeling Ren’s eyes watching him every second.

 

“Come here.” Hux outstretched an arm and Ren took ages to scoot into it, his nose brushing the generals chin, an arm wrapped around him to hold him there. Hux relished the feeling of Rens cool skin pressed against his chest and his nose skimming his hair, just as soft as it looked.

 

“You’re sleeping tonight.” He whispered, eyes fluttering closed. Kylo said nothing, and Hux offered no resistance when Kylo scooted in closer to the other man. In fact, he almost found a small smile tugging on his lips.

 

The last thing Hux thought before drifting off was the question of ‘ _When did it actually become personal?’_ The answer of course, would probably be _‘Oh general, hasn’t it always been just a little bit personal?’_ The sound of Ren’s voice in Hux’ head cut through the static that had now faded completely.

  
By morning, neither of them knew how much Kylo really slept. But they knew that every time an invisible pair of hands would pull him towards the darkness, a very real pair of arms was holding him in the light.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR ALL THE NICE COMMENTS  
> I LOVE ALL OF Y'ALL


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